Fret..or not

Just like all other ladies out there, I would never want to see myself goes out of shape. But i have to let it go this time round. It's a sacrifice to make. But, fret not!

I have successful histories of losing weights! Tons of weights! Who should i fear?! Wuahahaha~~~

When i was near the end of my teenage years, i moved to Australia to further my studies. Soon before i realised, i developed this eating disorder (in a way that i ate without much self-control) and my weights and shape rocketed high, touching the 60+kgs figures. With my height at 158cm, that's considered way too obese and it wasn't right at all. I looked round and resembled freshly baked cakes out of oven. Face=round, body=round, legs=all round! Nothing was rounder than me. And the thing was, i didn't realise how round i was until i saw a photo which was taken at my friend's backyard. It was awful!! I fret! Fret the only soul out of me. How could i eat and become that F.A.T all of sudden!

Then, i realised winter increases my body's metabolism rate and accelerates speed of burning calories and fats and hence, it makes me go hungry much faster. Then, i indulged in eating! How to control that? One needs to eat when one goes hungry. How to survive the hunger? Especially during the night. It was a nightmare. Even though i did realise it in the end, i just gave in every time i saw food in front of me. It took years to get myself in right eating order.

It was time i attended uni and with the help from tutes and spending most of the days in uni, i refrained myself from eating. I admit this is definitely not a healthy solution to slim down but i survived. I began with 2 pieces of bread and a cup of water in the morning and finished my day eating nothing else. Dinner time, i ate little portion of rice and lots of vegies and totally cut down on meat. I sipped on the yummy soup instead. I lost my weights in 2 months from 60+ to 56kgs. I was addicted to losing weight when i see the tremendous result! It was addictive. Gradually, i increased my food intake little by little and being whole day in uni attending classes, it helped to slim me down further to 51kgs. From then on, i maintained the weights til 3 years ago.

I met my bf (now promoted to hubby) and we enjoyed our foods of course! My weights went up again. A little this time to 54kgs. The extra kilos did show a little on my face and body since i'm the fleshy type. And just 3 months before my wedding, i went off to slimming centre, paid that money and got the professionals to do the job for me. All i need to do was to lie down, relax/doze off and by the time session ended, i felt "lighter"! Ha. And of course, thanks to the stress and all the cards, wedding arrangements and preparation we DIY-ed ourselves, i lost weight further to 47kgs. The lightest time in my whole life i would say. LOL! I havent seen that figure for some time now.

After months into marriage, the idea of pregnancy sunk in. Realising i didn't have enough fat for a good chance of conceiving (you have to have 24% of fats and above in your body in order to get pregnant), i need to put on weights again. After so much hard work..by the slimming professionals. They all gone down the drain. And the $$ too. Pfft.

There you go. My weight histories. I would say i'm quite proud with all the plummeting and rocketing of the figures throughout the years. At least, i know i'm able to achieve what i want with my strong desire for it. Perseverance is the key!

Now, what to fret when my body holds mostly liquid and fats that are going to wear off after delivery? Thanks to hubby for the treadmill in da house! And, thank goodness for the pool too! I'll put my determination to test after 6 months from now on.

All for the sake of precious one..

1. I'm a bird. One that is caged.
2. I forgot how I looked before I fell pregnant. Now, I'm all out of shape and to top it off, I'm getting heavier all the time.
3. I was all the time active, energetic and outgoing. Now, I'm all the time in inactive mode. Bed is my new best friend.
4. I used to eat without much hesitation of what I ate. Now, I need to peel the skin of each grape I pop into my mouth.
5. I was a coffee, tea and coke lover. Now, my main beverage is Anmum milk powder.
6. I swam, played badminton and jogged. Now, I see the 4 walls, some windows and fishes in the pond. Damn, even they have bigger rooms, comparing our sizes.
7. I went out to enjoy husband-wife's night out in some cool cafes randomly. Now, refer to 5.
8. Travelling was a breeze. Now, it's a banned mind and topic for the next 6 months. Or wait until baby is out, safe and sound and age 1.5 years old. That's approximately in 2 years time? Great.
9. I faced computer when I needed it. Now, I'm addicted to Facebook and picked up the old forgotten Yahoo! Mahjong after so many years.
10. I talked to others. To family. To friends. To hubby. Now, I talked to myself stupidly and to the air, assuming baby could hear what I've blabbered.

Ah well...

Ultrasound scan 18.04.2008 @ 11 wks old

Give me my old stamina back!

Time crawls when you're in the shoes in whatever circumstances you do not expect to engage in. Pregnancy is so far so good. Had a few morning sickness now and then. Few big and small appetites now and then. Gain and lost some weights now and then. It's all weird in a sense. You never know you'll be feeling good/yucky for a day. Let alone talking about what is planned to happen tomorrow.

I got myself out of bed for a week to stay in office. I can do or do nothing in office but just get myself out of the house. Then the following week, i'll be staying at home in bed to rejuvenate myself again, looking at i'm only 10 wks pregnant and i need a lot of rest.

I almost got myself into food poisoning last night after i ate some meat that were contaminated by flies. Thank God i had diarrhea and vomited all out pretty soon after that just to get rid of those bacteria out of my body. The thought of bacteria harming my baby is scaring the hell out of me. Prayerfully, I hope he/she is alright in there. I promised myself i'll eat more sensibly from now on. Afterall, a good mother has to learn to act sensibly in any circumstances.